Profound Sadness

Today, the phone rang.. it was my elderly aunt.. I usually try to call her once a week so it was odd that she was calling me.. I thought perhaps my uncle was in the hospital as they have had some health issues lately.
Unfortunately, my gut feeling that something was definitely wrong was correct.
My cousin, who was working out of state in Louisiana, was hit by a car and killed overnight.
I immediately wanted to throw up.


My cousin was a Marine.. he made it through his tour, and was going to go back for another but his mother was ill, and he decided he needed to be at home with her instead. He went to school to learn to be an underwater welder. He was a bit of a daredevil.. a wild streak.. So for him to see the end of his life mowed down on the side of the road just seems so wrong to me.

I am just in shock today. It is difficult for us to get any information about what happened until monday.. The not knowing what exactly happened is makin everyone just a little crazy.. I was able to get a little info from one of the media outlets in town.. but it wasn't much.
So for now we just wait for more word.. and to find out when we can bring our boy home.
I have such great memories of when he and his brother were kids.. and more recent memories when I have been able to get home. He was a good guy.. Having lost his mother only 3 years ago, I wonder how much his dad and brother can take. They are numb. we are all numb.
Most families aren't like ours. we are EXTREMELY close to cousins and aunts and uncles.. they aren't considered "immediate family" in most circles.. but they are to me.. Our large extended family is closer than most small families.. and this loss is hitting all of us pretty hard..
here are a couple of pictures of my cutie cousin when he was younger.. I have been told that growing up, he reminded them of me.. extremely independent and a lil' shit.
So, go hug your family.. tell them you love them.. you never know when it will be the last time.






Rest in Peace JB, I hope your mom welcomed you and you had the best reunion ever.